Sunday, March 29, 2009

So-2 yr olds are like men . . . .

in the sense that they can never find anything. Seriously-i thought it was just a male thing-you know, you send your nephew into the garage to get something-and he comes back 30 secs later saying "I can't find it." So you go out to the garage and practically trip over said item, as it's so obviously right in plain sight. But with a 2 yr old-you have the added issue of short attention span. Holy cow-Josie can't keep her train of thought for more than 5 seconds apparently. And that may be a generous estimate.

So-yesterday I was going to the bathroom with Josie, as usual, being my audience (seriously, she pulls up her stool and sits down right in front of me). She even cheers me on, "you can do it mama!", "Is it coming?", "Good job, Mama!*clapping*).

Well-yesterday I ran out of toilet paper, but hey-it's not a huge problem, right? Josie's right here-I'll just send her to get some more. Yeah, right.

I asked her to go to the pantry and get some more from the bottom shelf. She's all "Okay-I'll be right back!" And then she runs WAY past the pantry (which is in the hallway right outside the bathroom). So I yell for her and say "The pantry, Josie. Where the food is. The kitty food too. The toilet paper is on the bottom shelf!"

"Okay-I'll be RIGHT back!" She makes it to the pantry and pulls on the door. "Help Mama! I can't do it!"

"Try again!"

"Help Mama!"

Sigh. Plan B.

"Josie-can you get Mama the box of tissues from the living room?"

"Sure-I'll be Right Back!" Pitter-patter. Silence.



"Can you bring Mama the tissues?"


"The box of tissues! In the living room!"

"Living room?"

"Yes! On the table!"

"On the table?"

ARRRRRGGH! "The table! By the couch! Where you put your cup!"

"Oh sure! I'll be right back!" (yeah, right . . . .)

Pitter patter. Silence. Sing-song voice "lalalalalasomethingabout grandma'spicture". Oh-she's talking to the picture of my grandma again.



"Bring me the tissues, please!"

"Okay!" She runs into the bathroom, empty-handed.

"I need a kiss! An Ariel kiss!"

I give her a kiss. And then beg her to get me the tissues.

"I'll be right back!" Runs out of the room. Silence.



"The tissues! "


Sigh. By this point, I've dripped-dry enough to shuffle to the pantry to get the toilet paper. As I'm doing so, Josie comes over. "Watcha doin?"

Friday, March 20, 2009

A toddler's introduction to puberty . . . .

I had probably the funniest conversation (if you can call it that) with Josie this morning. She woke up before I was completely ready for work so she hung out with me in the bathroom while I put on makeup, etc. She got to put on some moisturizer and play with the makeup brushes so she was pretty happy.

So I hadn't put on a shirt yet and was just in a bra so this was fascinating to her. So far-she's asked what "those" were before and I tell her Mama's chest or Mama's breasts. Unlike SOME people (Natalie!), I don't want an embarrassing Target moment when she shouts out something about another woman's "boobies". As if she doesn't embarrass me enough with nose-picking, tantrums, eating food off the floor,etc . . . . . .

However, this morning when she asked "What's that?" and I gave my usual answer, she's all "No, that's an Ariel!" (Ariel=Little Mermaid who wears the purple clamshell bra).

She continues:

"That's an Ariel. And that's an Ariel. You have TWO Ariels. I don't have any Ariels." (I wish I had this on video because all of her hand motions were hilarious.)

"No sweetie. You'll get your Ariels when you're older . . . ."

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


We were at Disneyland for 5 days-Thurs-Mon. The weekdays were fine, though Friday was fairly busy. Saturday and Sunday kinda sucked in that the lines were ridiculous and it was hard to do anything. Plus it was 80+ degrees and it was way too hot for out Pacific NW blood!

But-we decided to stand in line at the Princess Faire-the new location that they have the princesses located for the "meet and greets". We stood in line for well over an hour and were all pretty cranky by the time we got to the front of the line. Josie is absolutely obsessed with Ariel-so I figured it was worth it. Besides-she had really gotten into seeing the characters by then. She wanted to see "a big Ariel".

When we got to the front though-we discovered that they only have 3 princesses at a time-and Ariel wasn't there. I could've cried. I did not want to have to stand in that line again. So we got to see Snow White, Mulan and Cinderella. The funny thing is-she hasn't ever seen Mulan-but she posed the best with her. Go figure. She went up to each princess and asked, "Where's Ariel?" When she asked Cinderella-Cinderella told her Ariel was swimming. Then, right at that moment-Ariel came up to take Cinderella's place. Praise the Lord! I wouldn't have to do that line again! I was almost happier than Josie-who was so amazed that she kept pointing at Ariel and telling everyone, "That's Ariel!" over and over again.

As annoying as it may be to dress up as those characters-it must be cool to blow little kid's minds like that on a daily basis.

The next day-out of hunger and the desire to get out of the sun-we ate a late lunch at Ariel's Grotto-one of those restaurants where the characters come up to the table and you pay an exorbitant amount to eat in their presence. But look! She got to see Ariel again! And then she ate about 6 goldfish that were on top of her $15 mac and cheese.

The first of many . . . .

So-I know some of you have been waiting patiently for pictures from our trip to Disneyland and with the exception of flying (see post below) we had a great time. My brother and his family drove down while me, Josie and Grandma flew. We met up in Anaheim and stayed at the same hotel. There were 3 birthdays during the trip-my brother, my niece and my nephew.

Here's Josie with my brother's family. Between my mom and I-we took probably 6 or 7 pictures-and this one was the closest to everyone looking in the same direction. Sigh.

Josie climbing while we waited in the first of a million lines!

Birthday girl Marina.

Josie was pretty much the happiest on this trip when she was being carted around by cousin Brady.

The teacups. Josie's in there somewhere . . .

Getting close to naptime. She took naps in the stroller the first couple of days.

On the first day-the first characters we took her to see was Tinkerbell. I probably should've waited until she'd met a couple others first. She was pretty overwhelmed. The first fairy she saw was Silvermist and she ran up and asked "Where's Tinkerbell?"

She finally gets to see Tinkerbell but won't crack a smile or talk to her or anything.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I heart faces-creative crop

This was from our recent trip to Disneyland. The photo was originally of my daughter Josie but wasn't any good-she had closed eyes. However-my niece Marina was in the corner and I liked the look on her face so I cropped out a little corner and played with it. Unfortunately, my iPhoto program didn't save the original image so I can't show the pic this one came from. Need to figure that one out!

Click on the I heart faces button to see other entries.

Sure-I'll take her on a airplane again-maybe when she's 20!

Scene: United Flight 666 to San Fran

2 women forcibly hold down toddler while stabbing her with hot pokers. Child screams bloody murder while other passengers wince and mutter to each other. Flight attendants pasted-on smiles started to wane as they ask if they can be of help. "Sure," says evil woman #1. "Why don't you start ripping her toenails out?"

Oh wait-those weren't hot pokers. No toenails were being ripped out. Worse. Evil woman #1 and #2 (otherwise known as Mama and Grandma) were trying to put said toddler in A SEATBELT!!! Oh-the horrors. Call CPS!

Seriously-I thought we were going to get kicked off the plane. We purchased an FAA-approved harness that slipped over the seat to use so we didn't have to bring the carseat. The straps, etc are exactly like a carseat. Just like the one she sits in nearly every single freaking day.

She was fine at first-she LOVES buckles. So she was very interested in the whole thing. For about 2 minutes. Then she wanted to sit in our laps. She summoned the strength of 1000 demons and wriggled out of the harness whilst screaming (oh yeah-she BIT me in there somewhere too!) as we tried to get her back in the harness (which became the most difficult puzzle of straps and buckles all of a sudden.) Oh yeah-and issuing all sorts of whispered threats and pleadings and maybe a few curse words.

In the end-she sobbed and only had the lap belt on. Repeat scenario (minus a couple of decibels and no harness) when we had to turn off the movie to land.

Return trip: I'll see you the hot pokers and toenails and throw in some scalding hot oil thankyouverymuch. It was even worse because we were on a smaller plane so only I was sitting next to her while Grandma, who surely wouldn't treat her in this inhumane way was across the aisle. So-I got to deal with her by myself while she screamed for Grandma to save her. Discarded twisted mess of harness again and just used lapbelt. After takeoff-she slumped doubled-over and passed out (sleeping, I swear!) for the rest of the trip while I recovered from the first catfight i've ever been in.

Oh yeah-we went to Disneyland. Pictures to follow. I need a sedative now just from mentally reliving that trip.